Penkava: Chronic Restless Furniture Syndrome – Northwest Herald

The worst-case scenario is that I’d have to move things back to the way they were. But then I could institute my “Gradualism Repositioning” strategy where I relocate the stuff to where I want it, one inch a day. The change is so gradual she will not notice.

The most critical stage of this is when the couch sits for a few days incrementally blocking and then unblocking the doorway to the living room on its way to its new location. I adroitly explain it away as the phenomenon of “furniture mirage” caused by heat waves from the lamps.

So, on and on I go, every once in a while getting the urge to move to some exotic place, followed by my wife’s plaintive exhortation for me to rearrange the furniture.

Once, while I was moving the ottoman, I started wondering what it would be like to live in Turkey … .

“Hey, Honey, do you think they have regular-sized refrigerators in Constantinople?”

“You mean Istanbul?”

“No, Frigidaire.”

• Michael Penkava is a retired teacher and the author of the children’s book, “Doughnut Street School and the Mystery of the Doughnut Hole.” As he was moving the davenport, he got a sudden urge to move to Iowa. He can be reached at


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